Emotionally mature people accept responsibility for their actions. They don’t look for excuses for their behavior. There may be reasons or circumstances why emotionally mature people act in an irresponsible way, but they don’t waste time making all kinds of excuses. Emotionally mature people don’t feel victimized by circumstances or other people. Even when circumstances or events are difficult, they deal with them without resorting to blaming others.In life, people can be dealt a bad hand in many different areas. They may have inherited a family disease, their parents may have been very poor, or maybe even alcoholics. The list could go on and on in terms of a bad hand an individual could be dealt in life. It becomes the responsibility of the individual to overcome difficult circumstances that were not really the fault of that person. Typically, emotionally irresponsible people spend their entire lives blaming others for their problems. When they do this, they remain irresponsible, and do not believe that they need to attempt to help themselves.

A person who is irresponsible can blame others for so long that the hole he or she is in gets deeper and deeper. I have a friend whose spouse left her for another woman almost eight years ago. She had two kids, and she never had to work while she was married to him. The ex- husband felt all kinds of guilt and was constantly reminded of his behavior by his ex-wife whenever he picked up the kids or saw her at a function involving the children. She spent hours berating him on the phone for those eight years, and blamed him for every single problem she had. He knew the behavior that he was involved in that led to his divorce was wrong, and he never tried to justify his actions. He provided for his children, paid for every need his children had, continued to pay the mortgage on the house his children and ex-wife lived in, saw his kids three or four times a week, continued to attend events, and barely existed financially. Although it was very hard for him to face his ex-wife’s constant berating every time he went to see his children, he didn’t knuckle under the emotional pressure that his ex wife put on him. He would not let her incessant anger stop him from spending every available minute with his children. But during those eight years his wife spent unending hours blaming him for leaving her, she never took one opportunity to get a steady job and start to try to provide for her own future, or even for the of caring financially in any way, shape, or form for her children. She spent all of her energy condemning her ex-husband for her lot in life, she bad mouthed him, and continued to remain in the hole that she was in.

The children were becoming much older and were getting to the point where they couldn’t stand listening to their mother complain, they wondered when she was ever going to get a job, and when she would ever be responsible. This father has earned the respect of his children by continuing to be responsible for them, and remained a voice in their life that they were listening to more than ever. He remained responsible to his children. His relationship with them wasn’t destroyed, even though they had to listen to the constant, bitter attempts at brainwashing by their mother. But he didn’t let this miserable circumstance interfere with his responsibility. He was emotionally mature.

Emotionally mature people always know what they have to do. They don’t focus on the problem rather they focus on the solution. The understand their responsibilities and do everything necessary to fulfill them.

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